I don't do bathing suits

You won’t find me swimming, no matter how good this is for joints and bones. I don’t do bathing suits. I don’t shop for them, I don’t try them on, and I definitely do not wear them in public.

On rare occasions when I walk in a pool, I wear cotton knit shorts and a t-shirt, rather than a bathing suit, though neither look is particularly flattering. Worse yet, I recently discovered that the shorts are not what I’d call “water friendly.”

While struggling to get out of a friend’s indoor lap pool by climbing the steps carved into the pool wall, I realized that my “wet suit” was retaining more water than my body, pulling me and my shorts down like an anchor. I didn’t know whether to hold onto my shorts, or use my arms to cover my chest, as I now looked like a participant in a wet t-shirt contest.

It took two friends (thankfully not a village) to hoist me up and out of the water, and lay me down on the pool deck like a beached whale. We all agreed that I best stick to mall walking rather than walking in water. I’m just grateful that getting me out did not require draining the pool.

top