Splish, splash

Recently I had the most expensive pedicure of my life, though I never intended it to turn out that way. I didn’t go to a luxury day spa frequented by the rich and famous. Nor did I try anything exotic, like a "fish pedicure" that would have toothless, little carp suck callouses and dead skin off my feet. I had a traditional, one hour pedicure in a strip mall salon, and ran up a $400 tab. You have to have Parkinson's disease, or be close to someone who does, to appreciate how this could happen.

I was soaking my feet in a pedicure bath and enjoying a massaging chair that rivaled my childhood memories of quarter-eating "magic fingers" beds. Feeling pretty good, I did not want to waste time, so I began reading email on my iphone. We all know that as a group, multi-tasking is not our strength, yet I keep trying.

When the pedicurist started massaging my feet, I leaned back in my chair, closed my eyes, and surrendered my sleep-deprived mind and body. The next thing I remember was a big splash and the horrified scream of the pedicurist who instinctively reached into the foot bath, pulled out my iphone, and tossed it to me. I ripped off its silicone case, swaddled it in a towel, and did everything short of perform CPR. Miraculously, the phone still worked, and I felt like a cat with nine lives. A few hours later, however, my luck ran out. The screen went dark and the phone refused to reboot.

"I had a sleep attack," I told my husband. He understood because he'd seen it happen before. The jury is still out as to whether it is a side effect resulting from treatment with dopamine agonists or whether it is part of the disease progression.

In any event, seeing as how we were leaving on vacation the next day, we headed out to the Apple store to buy a replacement iphone. I told the greeter that it had met an untimely death. He asked what had happened, and I looked sheepishly at the ground without answering.

"You can tell me," he said. "I've heard it all."

"It fell into a pedicure bath," I mumbled, avoiding eye contact. "What is the chance my warranty covers accidental drowning?"

The young man turned away, but not before I saw him smirk.

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